What this week’s dreams have taught me: - Life is funny. One minute you’re at Walmart picking out sheets, the next you’re at Ryan Gosling’s annual hedonism fight fest in New Jersey. - Turtles are the everyday dragon.  - If a large eagle rescues you from a flood, years later you too will be transformed into a heroic bird of prey. There’s nothing you can do about it. Accept your destiny.  - When farm dogs get old, their masters bury them up to their necks in a field and let nature take its course. - If you move into a house and your bedroom keeps switching rooms, you should probably relocate. - If you stay, you will eventually run into a blind monster who can only see the stars.  - When you find out your step-dad has been cheating on your mom through a midget clown escort service, the last thing you want from him is a hug.   View high resolution

What this week’s dreams have taught me:

- Life is funny. One minute you’re at Walmart picking out sheets, the next you’re at Ryan Gosling’s annual hedonism fight fest in New Jersey.

- Turtles are the everyday dragon. 

- If a large eagle rescues you from a flood, years later you too will be transformed into a heroic bird of prey. There’s nothing you can do about it. Accept your destiny. 

- When farm dogs get old, their masters bury them up to their necks in a field and let nature take its course.

- If you move into a house and your bedroom keeps switching rooms, you should probably relocate.

- If you stay, you will eventually run into a blind monster who can only see the stars. 

- When you find out your step-dad has been cheating on your mom through a midget clown escort service, the last thing you want from him is a hug.  

What this week’s dreams have taught me: - The latest teen drug craze is snorting dried peanut butter shavings through big red straws.  - It’s tough to be a young girl juggling school, a peanut butter shavings addiction, and an ongoing battle with an evil dream sorceress. -  If the only way to get to a tropical resort is riding on a giant, toad-powered snake, find another hotel.   - To really piss off your Middle Eastern father, get onstage at a wedding, declare you are not in fact a virgin, and proceed to pull a dog out of your vagina.  - If that doesn’t do the trick, pull out the leash.  View high resolution

What this week’s dreams have taught me:

- The latest teen drug craze is snorting dried peanut butter shavings through big red straws. 

- It’s tough to be a young girl juggling school, a peanut butter shavings addiction, and an ongoing battle with an evil dream sorceress.

-  If the only way to get to a tropical resort is riding on a giant, toad-powered snake, find another hotel.  

- To really piss off your Middle Eastern father, get onstage at a wedding, declare you are not in fact a virgin, and proceed to pull a dog out of your vagina. 

- If that doesn’t do the trick, pull out the leash. 

What this week’s dreams have taught me: - Nothing’s more embarrassing than having your mom bump into Andre Leon Talley’s wheelchair at a party.  - If you’re strolling through a park and pass a caravan guarded by skeletons buried up to their waists, don’t go back to “check it out.” - If you do return, the skeletons will grab you, take you inside, and eat you. - Duck hunting involves the mass slaughter of chihuahuas. - If you walk confidently enough, no one will notice that you’re only wearing one shoe. 

What this week’s dreams have taught me:

- Nothing’s more embarrassing than having your mom bump into Andre Leon Talley’s wheelchair at a party. 

- If you’re strolling through a park and pass a caravan guarded by skeletons buried up to their waists, don’t go back to “check it out.”

- If you do return, the skeletons will grab you, take you inside, and eat you.

- Duck hunting involves the mass slaughter of chihuahuas.

- If you walk confidently enough, no one will notice that you’re only wearing one shoe. 

What this week’s dreams have taught me: - My new favorite store is called The Trading Post. It has vaulted ceilings and you ride a 1930’s chairlift above the merchandise to view everything before purchasing.  - The Trading Post’s current #1 seller are giant latch hook pillows featuring tiger and bear faces. - Sean Penn looks pretty decent naked.  - There will soon be an iPhone that can diagnose ailments when you hold it over parts of your body. - When I put this new iPhone over my tummy, it will text me: “You better not befriend any zombies, because 12% of your stomach is dead.”

What this week’s dreams have taught me:

- My new favorite store is called The Trading Post. It has vaulted ceilings and you ride a 1930’s chairlift above the merchandise to view everything before purchasing. 

- The Trading Post’s current #1 seller are giant latch hook pillows featuring tiger and bear faces.

- Sean Penn looks pretty decent naked. 

- There will soon be an iPhone that can diagnose ailments when you hold it over parts of your body.

- When I put this new iPhone over my tummy, it will text me: “You better not befriend any zombies, because 12% of your stomach is dead.”

Just found this Christmas wish-list post I started a few years ago!

No, I never got these items, and yes, I still want them. 

Carven Gargoyle knitted intarsia sweater

Boo stuffed animal by Gund

A date with this guy

What this week’s dreams have taught me: - When left unattended, newborn puppies will head straight for the nearest garbage disposal. - If a dragon ladles lava out of a satanic volcano and drizzles it on an epic battle, any evil will be extinguished and turned into blue waters. - Underneath the fur, dog tails are actually carrots. - In the near future, haunted houses will be made by projecting terrifying images onto sheets of rain. - The Italian word for “help” is “chocolate.” View high resolution

What this week’s dreams have taught me:

- When left unattended, newborn puppies will head straight for the nearest garbage disposal.

- If a dragon ladles lava out of a satanic volcano and drizzles it on an epic battle, any evil will be extinguished and turned into blue waters.

- Underneath the fur, dog tails are actually carrots.

- In the near future, haunted houses will be made by projecting terrifying images onto sheets of rain.

- The Italian word for “help” is “chocolate.”

What this week’s dreams have taught me: - If you concentrate hard enough, you can make a pair of pants materialize on your body. - This is a lifesaver if you’re at a bowling alley and realize you don’t have pants on. - If sheep heads start to break through your floorboards, it’s safe to assume that shit’s going down. - Somewhere there is a restaurant on a bridge with dinner entertainment that includes giant, amphibious monsters coming up to your table and asking for change. Or singing you a song, but that’s extra.  - Jon Hamm is a baby tosser. 

What this week’s dreams have taught me:

- If you concentrate hard enough, you can make a pair of pants materialize on your body.

- This is a lifesaver if you’re at a bowling alley and realize you don’t have pants on.

- If sheep heads start to break through your floorboards, it’s safe to assume that shit’s going down.

- Somewhere there is a restaurant on a bridge with dinner entertainment that includes giant, amphibious monsters coming up to your table and asking for change. Or singing you a song, but that’s extra. 

- Jon Hamm is a baby tosser. 

“
Our job as writers, as far as I can tell, is to attempt to express what seems inexpressible. The way we do this, I think, begins with a level of absolute attention to the world, which in and of itself is a difficult practice. But it doesn’t end there. Attention merely leads us to the threshold of the unknown, beyond which is where poetry lurks.
From Nick Flynn’s Bennington Commencement Speech: Tropes, Propositions, Fish, Bicycles (via anniewilkins)

(Source: therumpus)

(Reblogged from anniewilkins)
mythologyofblue: “Of all the things I wondered about on this land, I wondered the hardest about the seduction of certain geographies that feel like home—not by story or blood but merely by their forms and colors. How our perceptions are our only internal map of the world, how there are places that claim you and places that warn you away. How you can fall in love with the light.” -Ellen Meloy [Image: Francesca Woodman, Providence, Rhode Island (Mirrors in Pilgrim Mills Loft), 1976; via foxesinbreeches]

mythologyofblue:

“Of all the things I wondered about on this land, I wondered the hardest about the seduction of certain geographies that feel like home—not by story or blood but merely by their forms and colors. How our perceptions are our only internal map of the world, how there are places that claim you and places that warn you away. How you can fall in love with the light.” -Ellen Meloy

[Image: Francesca Woodman, Providence, Rhode Island (Mirrors in Pilgrim Mills Loft), 1976; via foxesinbreeches]

(Reblogged from mythologyofblue)
What this week’s dreams have taught me: - A pitbull carousel isn’t what you think it is. - If you ever stumble upon a beautiful botanical garden, watch out for the giant women that live in the ponds. They wear 1940’s dresses and will steal your children. - If you’re really nice to the giant pond women, they may retrieve your children by whispering “ice cream” into the water. - Angry Muffin is my favorite band. - Don’t listen to anybody—you can walk with your hands folded any way you like.  View high resolution

What this week’s dreams have taught me:

- A pitbull carousel isn’t what you think it is.

- If you ever stumble upon a beautiful botanical garden, watch out for the giant women that live in the ponds. They wear 1940’s dresses and will steal your children.

- If you’re really nice to the giant pond women, they may retrieve your children by whispering “ice cream” into the water.

- Angry Muffin is my favorite band.

- Don’t listen to anybody—you can walk with your hands folded any way you like.