Sprice Rite

…I’m reposting something I wrote awhile ago—something concerning a very scary incident (at least to me): 

I recently went home to visit my family. Upon entering the house, I noticed that all my mother’s porcelain dolls were naked, laying side-by-side on the couch. My first thought was, “Oh my god, the dolls have retaliated, eaten my family, and are now enjoying a post-bloodbath-orgy-nap.” Before I had time to smother the dolls with a pillow (my second thought) or light the entire house on fire, thus cleansing the area of demonic possession, my mom walked in to the room and informed me that she was just washing their clothes. How dolls sitting on shelves for 20 years get “dirty” is beyond me, but I’m pretty sure she had something to do with it.