ANTM ALL-STARS: EPISODE RECAP
Episode 8: “Allison gets her Game on”
The Challenge
- Write a song (aka lyrics to pre-existing music) and record it. Let the barf fest begin.
- Alexandria writes a song that says, “Go! Go! Go!”.
- The winner of the songwriting challenge is… Lisa!
- She is hailed as a “natural”, the rest of that sentence we are still waiting for.
- Next, the All-Stars head to the recording studio (aka a set in Tyra’s basement).
- Surprise! Add this hook to your song: Pot ledom, top model backwards. Barfing yet?
- This has to be the worst ANTM phrase since “Ty-over”.
- Wait! I heard someone on that couch singing it during commercials! Who was it?
- Double surprise! Allison is actually pretty good.
- Alexandria needs to go back to swimming upstream. Zing.
- Sentence complete: Lisa is a “natural performer”.
- Sweet, sweet Laura. You are tone deaf.
The Photo Shoot
- The photo shoot is actually a music video shooooot!
- Playing director today is… Game? He has a tattoo on his face, he’ll do.
- Game’s directing advice “Booty back, chest out!”
- Tyra and Keenan Cahill will create their own lip-sync video for each of the girls’.
- Alexandria’s too rigid, and as Game said “Not enough time to put oil in the tin man.”
- Not a surprise: Angelea’s dead eyes. Someone get that girl some smelling salts!
- Game is in LOVE with Allison. For real. It is the best thing I’ve ever seen on ANTM.
The Judgment
- Tyra tries to sing. Everyone tries to forget.
- The videos are unveiled!
- Tyra and Keenan’s videos are oddly spliced in, like … like … porn in a Disney movie.
- Laura’s looks like a 2am commercial for a local chat line. Still adorable though.
- Shannon’s is reminiscent of a Christian soft-rock music video from 1992.
- In fact, we all waited for a cameo of Uncle Jesse on top of a white linen bed.
- “You’re the most weirdly beautiful person I’ve ever seen in my life.”
- Yes, that was a quote from Game, to Allison. SQUEAL!
- And another: “She’s got a little weird (long pause) weird, weird, weird thing.”
- Alexandria and Angelea are in the bottom two.
- Sorry Trout Mouth, it’s back to Rainbow Farms for you.
Best Tyra Quote:
“Now, people are hearing music with their eyes.”
