ANTM ALL-STARS EPISODE RECAP
Episode 9: Putting the “reek” in “Greek Salad”
The Big Announcement
- André Leon Talley announced that the ladies would be headed to Greece!
- Which was confusing, because André was dressed like an Asian mortician.
- You knew at least one girl wanted to ask “is that in Europe?”, but refrained.
- Angelea: “I’m a history buff, so I know all about the gods, about Zeus.”
The Challenge
- Upon arriving in Greece, the girls were flown to the island of Crete.
- During the flight, they had to write a speech that incorporated Greek words.
- They will give the speech to a small crowd of Greek dignitaries.
- Laura was worried because she’s “southern and dyslexic.”
- Allison used her gigantic brain (why else do you think her eyes bulge out—her skull is too full!) to memorize a ton of Greek words.
- Angelea did pretty well, until she said “baño”. BANO.
- “But politicians really like minimal clothes.” —Lisa, when told that the dignitaries thought she was dressed “inappropriately”.
- Allison’s Hellenic vocab and calm demeanor won her the challenge.
Special Surprise!
- The girls got five minutes to collaborate with designer Michael Cinco on a customized gown for their final runway appearance.
- No one seemed suspicious that producers just hired Chris Kattan to “play” a designer.
- Lisa wanted to put X-mas lights on her dress.
- “This is my moment to let the drag in me shine!”—Dominique on her design.
- The girls continued to test Cinco’s gag reflex with their gown ideas.
The Photo Shoot
- In spite of being surrounded by an exquisite landscape, they had to model lingerie in a giant bowl filled with Greek salad. Is there a Greek word for “Trashy”?
- Shannon was pissed! The bras and underwear looked like swimsuits (which she DOES model), but were still called lingerie (which Shannon DOES NOT model).
- A stylist told Shannon, “It’s easier to change the model than the prototype.” Boom.
- Jay brought Shannon a bikini with the word “lingerie” on it and her head exploded.
- Laura got really nauseous (probably from hearing Shannon talk about bikinis vs. underwear.)
- While not delivering a great shoot, Laura did manage to pour olive oil all over her face and in her eyes.
- Allison has “vampire vision” which causes her eyes to water in the sunlight.
- No one really knows what “vampire vision” is, but agree that Allison has it.
- Shannon: “Hopefully, I won’t get sent home, since I did stay true to my brand.”
- True, if your brand is using semantics to foster your delusions of purity.
- During the commercial break, my friends and I created a strategy for how to throw my giant, old TV out the window if Shannon was not eliminated.
The Judgment
- SHANNON WAS SENT HOME! Nothing else really matters.
- Oh wait, Nigel said Laura’s face was “erotic”. That was pretty cool.
