What last week’s dreams taught me:

- Catching Liza Minnelli staring at you from a third-floor window is very disconcerting.

- There is a precise science to traveling from one point to another (think Star Trek transporter). It involves a u-shaped piece of metal, a stack of papers, putting your head under a bed, and reciting something that I don’t think I’ll ever remember. 

- My best singing is done while flying through the substructure of bridges.

- If you’re trying to hide a baby chick that’s hatching from its egg and two old men come into the room, don’t tell them the noise is “just a toaster”. They won’t believe you and one of them will put the whole thing in his mouth and eat it and you will be traumatized.

- Oddly enough, pushing your feet towards the ground improves ascension. 

- If you’re on a flight and they suddenly start passing out hot dogs, it’s not a good sign.

Notes

  1. anniewilkins said: What mine taught me: Hotels at high school reunions are labrinths, Carrie Brownstein pees out the back of moving buses if drunk enough, everyone knows about the roller derby after party because of a new social media app thing you’ve never heard of.
  2. spriceritz posted this